God's been showing me the growth in my life. Through various circumstances I've seen that I've learned to guard my heart and I've begun to have better self-control in my anger (even though I've still got a lot of work to do with that.) Most of all, God's been telling me that I've been handicapping myself by caring so much about what others think. To a degree, you have to care what others think if you want to be in ministry because you're supposed to care in general, but I've learned that I can't let other people dictate how I live my life. God is the only one who will determine the steps that I take and He's the only one who will judge the life I live. I have to go to Him before I go to others and I have to go to Him if I want to be better. I'm never going to be able to write worship music again if I don't trust in God and let him move me into His presence so I can do so. There are so many things that require Him in my life and I don't have time to let other people take the place of His love.
After this past weekend at Winterfest I was inspired musically by two artists. Phil Wickham and the band United Pursuit. Phil lead thousands in worship all by himself and it was incredible to see the anointing on his life during worship. Untied Pursuit had the most unique approach to worship and a beautiful sound to accompany it. It gave me hope for worship music and it also shook me. God was telling me that if I wanted to do this thing then I needed to stop waiting around for something to happen and just do it. So, that's what I'm going to do.