Lost In The TIde

I still haven't completely figured out how to deal with everything.  There was a point in my life where I was strong.  This strength was in every aspect; physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Now I'm just lost in all of these things.  It's hard to motivate myself to do much of anything and it is hard to ever think positive.  I feel this ever present weight bearing down on me every single day and it just gets heavier and heavier.  I'm really trying to find myself, but I fear how lost I've really become.  I wake up every morning with a heavy heart and then I go to bed every night with it encumbered.

There is no reprieve in the tides of life, only the sound of shattering waves and the rocks that receive them.  Kingdoms have been dismantled by the smallest of things and I fear that the kingdom of my heart has been fractured without reform.  Where do I find my strength again?  How do I rebuild the walls and fight back the tide?  I'm tired of being weak and I'm weary of being overwhelmed.  Every step that I take now is another painful memory that I have to look back upon.  Each footprint filled with the sting of life.

My character falters as I watch and wonder
My heart breaks like cackling thunder
Where is this beauty that I've often pondered
It is lost in the tide

Weapons for war and murder and peace
Send me your love I need its release
A world of hate and sorrow decease
But my heart it lingers

Those eyes, those daggers that pierce my mind
I see them, I see them all of the time
The promise of life in you was denied
No more can I fight
No more can I fight